How Giving Gifts Can Get You Great Acting Jobs

by Susan Dansby

Early in my television career, I worked as a production coordinator at GUIDING LIGHT. In our old studio on 26th Street in New York City, the production office was right next to Betty Rea’s – she was the renowned casting director on GL for many years.

And it was a great boon having the office next to Betty’s because she was always getting gifts from actors: candy, cookies, brownies – you name it. In spite of this, Betty had a fashion model figure – probably because she kept passing the goodies on to us. And she would always lament about the poor actors (Betty had great respect for actors) spending their hard-earned money to give her gifts.

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You see, the gifts were unnecessary. Betty hired actors because they were good – not because of what they gave her.

I, on the other hand, am VERY impressed by gifts.

One of my favorite gifts was given to me by an actor named Ethan Phillips (STAR TREK VOYAGER, BAD SANTA) many years ago.

I had just moved to New York, and was working for free (read more about that in my The Ultimate Day Job article) as an assistant director/stage manager for my pal, David McKenna. David was directing a Charlie Peters play called COMEBACK OF A ONE-EYED LION, and Ethan had the starring role.

Anyway, rehearsal was over for the night and I was doing the least favorite part of my job - putting our rehearsal space back in order: tossing the trash, restacking chairs, etc. All the other actors were gone and Ethan was the last one out. And that’s when he gave me the perfect gift.

He said – and I’ll never forget this – Ethan said, “Goodnight, Susan. And thank you.”

Thank you. He thanked me! How huge a gift was that? Well, it’s been decades, and I still remember, so that’s saying something.

I’m always happy when I see Ethan Phillips working, and I would hire him in a heartbeat. Not only is this actor talented, he’s polite.

So, here are some gifts that will keep on giving as you enjoy your successful acting career. They’ll make people remember you, and think well of you – and they don’t cost a thing.

Smile –Yeah, I know. Sometimes you just don’t feel like smiling. That’s why it’s a gift. Smiling is something you have to choose to do. It helps if you think about how many grumpy people the average person encounters in a day. [I’ve read that in the U.S., children smile 300 times a day, adults 21 times and teenagers 30 times.] Be unique. Smile.

“Hello” or “Hi” – Sometimes you’re so rushed, you’re thrilled to just make it to an audition on time. Out of breath, you identify yourself to an assistant. But you never bothered to say “hello.” And here’s a concept - smile while you say it.

“How are you?” – The thing about this question is... not only should you ask it, but you should actually be interested in the answer. If the reply is “fine,” that’s fine. If the reply is “I’m fantastic!” good for them. If the reply is, “not too well today,” respond appropriately. You don’t know what people are going through. Maybe they just lost their dog, or got bad news from the IRS or have a sick child. If someone gives a surprising answer to “how are you,” the least you can do is listen with compassion and interest to their reply.

Remember names – DO NOT say you can’t remember names. You’re an actor, memorizing words is how you make your living. If you don’t have a good memory, improve it.

Pronounce names correctly – if you’re in doubt, ask again. Repeat it. Write it out phonetically. Do whatever you have to do to get it right. You’ll be glad you did – and so will they.

Use people’s names – One of the easiest ways to remember a name is to use it. “Thanks again, Sally.” “Have a nice day, Joe.” Then write the name down in your book.

Don’t expect people to remember your name – How is this a gift? Because it lets people off the hook. Just because you make it a point to remember names, that doesn’t mean everyone else should. So, assume they don’t, and be generous. Always remind them of your name and where you met. “Hi, Angela. You probably don’t remember me. I’m Janie Doe, we met at the Oscars last year.” You let Angela off the hook easily and smoothly – that’s definitely a gift.

“Thank you” or “Thanks” – Sometimes it feels like this phrase is as archaic as “lo” and “thou.” Listen and you’ll realize how rarely people use it. But you should use it – often. When auditors thank you and ask you to send in the next actor, thank them and tell them to have a nice day – and mean it.

“Please” – And you thought “thank you” was underused! “Could you have him call me, please?” “Would you repeat that, please?” “Could I have that coffee with cream, please?” Or, when some one is nice enough to offer you something: “Would you like something to drink? Yes, please.”

Apologize – Okay, maybe I’ve had more practice with this one than most. In my early years, I... let's just say I needed to apologize. A lot. So here’s a couple of rules about apologizing:

• If you’ve done harm in public, apologize in public. For example, if you mistakenly yell at the prop guy, say you’re sorry – not in some corner – but in front of everybody.
  
  
• Don’t hedge – Have you ever gotten an apology like this? “I was just telling the truth. I’m sorry if I offended you.” That’s not an apology! That’s just a bunch of words meant to get you off the hook. This is an apology: “I shouldn’t have said that. I apologize.” If you’re wrong, own it. Mean it.
  

Listen – There’s a funny thing that happens when you listen as people tell you how they are or when you remember their names – they start to tell you their stories. I love that! Just yesterday, I learned about geology from a nurse, and heard about living in Japan from a pal in water aerobics. You’re an artist, hearing people’s stories will feed you and fuel you and make your work more interesting. And people are more than willing to share – if you’ll listen.

“Goodbye” – You’ve just finished an audition, you’re in a haze, thinking about what you did right and wrong. Even though the assistant gave you sides, got you coffee, told you the names of everybody in the room - you leave the building without even saying goodbye! Shame on you. If the assistant is busy, just give a wave. Or you can supersize “Goodbye” and say, “Have a nice day,[INSERT NAME HERE].”

How will this help you get great acting jobs?

***Assistants will smile when they see you coming because you always smile at them.

***Directors will greet you and ask how you are because you're always so cordial.

***Producers will attempt to remember your name because you always remember theirs.

***Crew members will remember every slight, but they’ll also never forget a public and sincere apology.

***Writers will look for things to compliment (like, hopefully your work), because you never fail to say something nice about them.

***Casting directors will listen when you audition, because you’ve listened to and remembered everything they’ve said to you. And thanked them!

Bottom line, your co-workers, employers and future employers will enjoy working with you and recommend you to others because you always leave them feeling... better.

"I have witnessed the softening of the
hardest of hearts by a simple smile."
Goldie Hawn

To your success... scene by scene...